stuffing any doubt

Here's a post that I did at Unschooling Discussion this morning.
I wanted to share it here too. :)
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I felt like sharing some thoughts that I've had floating around in my

head lately. :)

My oldest 2 kids are on the nightshift right now.   I  stay up

with them as late as I can  and then I get up early to see if they

need anything (and to be up with my youngest). They also know they can

come and get me and wake me up if they need anything.  That being said,

I'm usually fine with them being up, yet I still have little voices in

my head telling me they should be sleeping when I'm sleeping.

I sometimes start questioning if I'm doing enough for them.  Maybe I

should be right by their side more?  I make sure they have easy to warm

up food, and snacks they like.  I make sure I spend a chunk of quality

time with them when they are awake, but I still worry.  I'll ask them

if they're happy (they look happy, but I want to make sure, my doubt

again) and they'll enthusiastically answer "YES!".  I ask them if they

want to be doing some other things,,(I'm thinking,,, like stuff during

the day) and they'll answer "but Mom I'm doing what I want to do"

and they laugh at my doubt.

So I go back and forth, being confident in what I'm doing and then also

questioning it.  I think because I'm not around anyone in real life who

lives their life like this its much more difficult to remain confident.

 When I do question it I need to stop and look at my kids, see the joy

and see the learning.

Ok, so what are they learning?    A few, off the top of my head

things:  yesterday Abbi HAD to find out if the poem "ring around the

rosie" came from the Black Plague.  She loves snopes and looked it up

http://www.snopes.com/language/literary/rosie.htm (don't know if

that'll transfer or not).  She really didn't want to believe that a

beloved kid poem would be associated with that.  She was happy to find

out that Snopes believed that that claim is false.  She sat there for a

couple of hours reading and researching.

Then this morning when I got up she was just bubbling over with

enthusiasm, that's the way she usually is when I see her in the

morning. :)   She comes to me and tells me that her new favorite word

is Antidisestablishmentarianism.   Apparently some people were

talking about big words and threw that one out there.  She had never

heard of it,, she loved it.   She also told me that when people were

throwing that word around someone said, "how about sesquipedalian?"

(which means the use of big words, I had to google it, I had never hear

of it ;)  So she had been looking up different words, reading about

long words (she loves dictionary.com).  She also had to share this new

word with her friends on myspace and made a bulletin about her newly

found favorite word.

She continued to talk about this and that, different things that she

had done in the night, commenting that it was nice to talk to me

because Alec (her older brother)  had been in some raids last night

(groups with other people on WoW) and not as talkative as she would

have liked.   Usually she has a couple of friends that are up with her

on IM through the night and some will be on WoW (World of Warcraft),

some not.  Last night apparently her friends weren't around so she

ended up doing some other stuff.    So she's talking and talking and

then she stops and says, "OH, I HAVE to ask you this!  I've been

meaning to talk to you about this then I get sidetracked."  I'm

thinking oh my gosh,, getting myself ready for something deep and

serious.  And she asks me "what was the Black Plague?"  :)

So the research we were doing yesterday morning resurfaces and we get

back on the computer and look it up.  How many things can you learn

when you look up the Black Plague/Bubonic Plague?     Wow!  Its a

lot.  Tons of history, science, biology, toxology, pathology,,, it

keeps going.  Disease, geography of Europe and Asia, rat info, flea

info, history of diseases, even warfare (they believe that it may have

been spread by one army catapulting infected corpses onto its enemy,

the disease spreading and those people leaving their country and it

coming to Europe).

Finally after reading about the Bubonic Plague for about an hour she

decides its time to lay down for a while.  Its 8:00 and she wants me to

get her up at around 2:00-3:00.  I had told her about a couple of

artists that are going to be showing how they do their artwork in one

of the art studios in town.  She won't be getting a lot of sleep today

but she'll probably make up for it tonight.  When its something she

wants,  she makes it happen.

I continue to be amazed at this life of ours.  Even when I sometimes

question myself or have people questioning me, I know deep down inside

me that its the right thing.  The energy, happiness and joy I see in my

kids is so proving.