Our elusive friend... do you see him?


I haven't gotten a good picture of him yet. I'm still trying though :)

Marc Prensky's site

If you have a gamer in your household you really need to check out this site:
marcprensky.com

I had read about his book "Don't Bother Me Mom--I'm Learning!"

But hadn't really looked at his website. Wow! Tons of writings and discussions there about video game playing. One that was really relevant to us was this one:

Complexity Matters

Some people believe that video game playing is mindless drivel. Which some games can be very simplistic. A way of vegging out. But for most gamers, these games aren't going to be their games of choice. They tend to choose games that take hours or days to complete; games that keep their attention and brains going.

I think for a lot of parents its hard for them to understand that draw because they grew up with much simpler games. (Prensky touches on this.) If they would sit and watch what their kids are doing and talk with their kids while they're playing these games, huge misunderstandings could be resolved.

Thinking outside the box

Kid who doesn't have or play video games: "People play World of Warcraft to make their uninteresting lives interesting."

Alec: "Do you have any hobbies?"

Kid: "Yeah, I love to read."

Alec: "And, because your life is uninteresting you read to make it more interesting?"

Kid: "Well...you have to read to get through life."

Alec: "What kind of books do you read? Do you like Harry Potter and Inkheart and stuff like that?"

Kid: "Yeah, I LOVE those books!"

Alec: "Well, I don't think you have to read those books to get through life."

Abbi: "And you'll pick up a book and read about exciting things?"

hmmmm...

Abbi did say that she thought that she and Alec had been smart asses, and wasn't very proud of it.

I was thinking that Alec and Abbi were thinking pretty quick, versus how I used to hmmmm and haaaa and um to questions like that.

Happy Birthday Kyra!

NO WAY! 10 years old?!?! Say it isn't so....

Happy Birthday sweetie!

Not learning?

Yes, another blog post. :P


"How do you know that they're learning?" A question that was asked by the reporter.

Alec and I are discussing this question this morning. I guess we have it so deep in our soul that we are continually learning. We can't believe it's even a question. It's such a "duh" to us.

Alec made the statement, "That's like asking, how do you know you're alive". I like that. We just know it. Maybe it's the trust thing that we talk about all the time with new unschoolers. That you have to trust your children.

We then went on to trying to think up a situation where we weren't or wouldn't learn. *g* Or is there really a way to go through a day and not learn? We both thought of laying in bed not doing anything. Yet, then Alec said, "but I think you'd learn that laying in bed = back ache". lol So, scratch that. *g* Then we went on to, well, what if you already knew that? hmmmm... maybe not learning then...but yet, I bet your brain would keep going. Thinking about things and maybe, just maybe you (probably) would figure something out, hence.....LEARNING something.

And this morning...
Alec loves these "massive" lego sets. Massive meaning 3,000 pieces or more, as well as 3 feet long. He now wants the 5,000 piece Millenium Falcon and 3,000 piece Death Star II. phew, I wish they weren't so expensive...*cry*

Morning surprise

And I should have known it was gonna be a good day. We awoke to our morning glory seeds sprouting! I wish we would have started them sooner, but they are growing. :) These are all the way from New Mexico and the Dodd household. Thank you Sandra! We're gonna plant them by the mail box!

Warning, gushing about my kids about to commence :)

OK, my kids are smooth. Like my friend Rue said one time, "I wanna grow up and be just like my kids" (I'm pretty sure it was something like that). I was feeling that today. After interviews I always feel like I have no idea what I said. I feel as though I was saying "blah, blah, blah". Probably not a good thing but I try. :)

My kids on the other hand shine in interviews. Its amazing. No problem, no nervousness, present and self confident. Kyra didn't want to say much but Alec and Abbi were very talkative.

It was great sitting back and watching them respond to questions.

After the interview I was tired (it was over 3 1/2 hours long) but the kids were fine. Kyra biked down to a friend's house to play, Abbi started working on the computer and Alec sat and discussed the afternoon with me.

Alec and Abbi tonight, in their elements (Kyra was in the tub so that photo op wasn't gonna happen ;)

Hopefully I can be this eloquent this afternoon. I have an interview today with a reporter from MPR. Wish me luck :)



And here's more of Dayna Martin on Radical Unschooling. Its what we believe. Thanks Dayna and thanks Joni for sharing it at your blog.

more pics

Kyra's pics

Kyra took these today.

I'm trying to figure out how to handle the size of the pictures. The files with my new camera are so big. I shrunk them, but I'm wondering how it affects the pics.
First one:


Now shrunk:

Last night as I was preparing the coffee pot for this morning, Kyra was writing in her journal. She wrote what day it was, what she did during the day and what she was going to do today. Then she wrote good night. As we were talking and doing a few more things she said "dang!". I asked her what was the matter? She answered that she had ended her day in her journal by saying good night and she wanted to write more. I told her she could still write more if she wanted, since it was her journal and she could do with it what she wanted. She started laughing, "I just love writing, I love writing, I love writing!" She sang and sang those words for about 10 minutes *g*

Some wonderful benefits of unschooling. Very cool.

Daily OM

Yesterday I wrote about how its hard to break certain cycles. How making a shift to the whole kindness trickle-down thing would be wonderful and is wonderful. Well, today I got this DailyOM, just an idea of how we can change those cycles.

Here is it:

Generate Your Own Patterns
Becoming Your Parents

Heredity plays a role in almost all human development, whether physical, mental, or emotional. We tend to look like our parents and are subject to the same sensitivities they have. We may even be predisposed to certain behaviors or preferences. As we grow older, we become increasingly aware of the traits that exist within us and the clear history of the traits of our mothers and fathers. Our response to this epiphany depends upon whether the inclinations, tendencies, and penchants we inherited from our forebears are acceptable in our eyes. We may honor some of these shared traits while rejecting others. However, there is no law of nature, no ethereal connection between parents and children, that states that the latter must follow in the footsteps of the former. We are each of us free to become whoever we wish to be.

When we accept that our parents are human beings in possession of both human graces and human failings, we begin to regard them as distinct individuals. And by granting mothers and fathers personhood in our minds, we come to realize that we, too, are autonomous people and in no way destined to become our relations. While we may have involuntarily integrated some of our parents' mannerisms or habits into our own lives, conscious self-examination will provide us with a means to identify these and work past them if we so desire. We can then unreservedly honor and emulate those aspects of our mothers and fathers that we admire without becoming carbon copies of them.

Though many of the tempers and temperaments that define you are inherited, you control how they manifest in your life. The patterns you have witnessed unfolding in the lives of your parents need not be a part of your unique destiny. You can learn from the decisions they made and choose not to indulge in the same vices. Their habits need not become yours. But even as you forge your own path, consider that your parents' influence will continue to shape your life-whether or not you follow in their footsteps. Throughout your entire existence, they have endeavored to provide you with the benefit of their experiences. How you make use of this profound gift is up to you.

Pretty cool :)

(and I just had to include the above picture because I love it :D)

Being nice to little ones

Why is it so hard for people to be nice to little ones?

Yesterday Kyra and I were shopping a bit and heard a little one crying. We just kind of kept shopping not paying a lot of attention to it. Then when we went up to pay for our purchases we saw the little girl (about a year old) who was upset. She was in a stroller very distraught. Her mom was pushing it looking tired and her dad was walking along carrying an even smaller baby. Both Kyra and I looked at the little girl and gave her a "awww look" and she kind of paused. I kind of looked at the mom but didn't say anything. The mom finally took her out, which I thought she might hold her but she didn't. She put her down and the girl backed away. The little girl kept walking backwards away from them, almost like keeping an eye on them. :(

The dad said,"that's almost funny the way she's walking away, but I don't want to laugh it'll encourage her". I just ignored him and paid for the merchandise. I heard him say that she had disappeared into the men's department. And that she deserved a spank. I turned and looked at him and just had a very disturbed look on my face. I guess for her, getting lost was a better alternative than getting spanked and I now knew why she was backing away from him.

I wish I would have said more, I keep going over in my head what I want to say in these situations. Does anyone have any ideas? Please comment if you have any suggestions.

This morning I got Scott Noelle's daily groove and it really touched on what happened yesterday:

:: The Trickle-Down Theory of Human Kindness ::

In peaceful "primitive" cultures, kindness is
sustained from generation to generation by a kind
of
"trickle-down" effect. At its core is the
commonly
held value of serving and delighting younger
people,
especially babies.

Adults appreciate and support the delight of
adolescents,
who delight in the joy of prepubescents,
who enjoy entertaining younger children,
who love to carry babies and play with
toddlers.

The elegance of this top-down, pleasure-oriented
value
system is that the youngest people receive the
most
(and give the least) at the developmental stage
when
they're naturally narcissistic, while those who
give more
are more adept at deriving joy from giving.

In contrast...

Adults in our culture often *fear* adolescents,
who call prepubescents "dweebs,"
who disparagingly call younger children
"babies,"
who compete with real babies for scarce love
and attention.

When your children behave unkindly, remember that
you
can't enforce authentic kindness. Instead, let it
trickle down by *modeling* unconditional
generosity.
Using your creativity, find a way to serve and
delight
both "aggressor" and "victim" ...and yourself,
too!

http://dailygroove.net/trickle-down

Why is it so hard to be nice? Is it because we weren't always treated nicely? And that trickle-down meanness/disrespect worked the same way? I think that's part of why its hard. Some of our parents weren't treated nicely so our parents didn't treat us so kindly. I think we have to break that cycle. Break a lot of those cycles so our kids don't have the hang ups we have. So our kids can easily treat their children with kindness and gentleness. What an amazing gift we can give our children and world. I bet there would less sadness, less wars, and (with last week's Virginia Tech tragedy) less violence in the schools.

Just be nice :)

I will not play at tug o' war.
I'd rather play at hug o' war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs,
Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses,
And everyone grins,
And everyone cuddles,
And everyone wins.

Shel Silverstein

Unschooling Voices for May

A post for Unschooling Voices

The question being:

How has unschooling changed YOU? Yes, it’s about the kids, but is it ONLY about the kids? I sometimes think unschooling has changed me more than them. What are your thoughts?


I had to answer this. How has unschooling changed ME? Wow. I guess my first response to that is, how has it not changed me. Really. It has changed me in so many ways. Or it has allowed me to be a person I never really allowed my self to be. It has brought me out. I really believe that unschooling got that evolutionary ball rolling for me, I'm continually evolving into me. :)

Unschooling has so affected our lives in a whole encompassing way, its almost overwhelming thinking about it. Unschooling has brought joy into our lives, in a way that we never knew was possible.

I remember sitting at the computer writing to UD (Unschooling Discussion) about how happy we were since I had found unschooling. It was late at night and the kids were dancing around, the whole family was laughing and dancing and singing. It sounds like nothing now, but at that moment I realized something, we hadn't had that all out joyful, free, fun life. How liberating its been.

That almost makes our previous life seem somewhat sad. Which it was, and it wasn't. We still had happy and joyful moments, but probably only moments. There was more unhappiness and struggles for all of us, and only moments of joy and happiness. Our life has taken an about face. Now our struggles and unhappiness are the moments and the joy and happiness is our norm. :)

This all started when I realized that home "schooling" wasn't working. And why should it when schooling never did, why would I try and replicate something that didn't work. Why would I bring that into my home? So I started thinking about it. When did my kids pick up on something? When did I see that light in their eyes? It was when they were interested in it. When it had some value to them, when they enjoyed what they were doing.

My turning point came when I thought I had done this amazing unit study on Mardi Gras. I went into the whole history of it with them, Fat Tuesday, the geography behind it and even did a craft to wrap it all up. Later on, I was telling someone how great our homeschooling had been going and turned to the kids and asked them to share with this person what they knew about Mardi Gras. (Yes, I was the trainer, they were the monkeys *cry*) What did they remember about it when I wanted them to spew forth the knowledge I had imparted to them? Hehe... They all looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language. "Huh?" they all said. I continued, "remember the Mardi Gras stuff we did? New Orleans, Fat Tuesday?" Still,,"huh?" Then I said, "remember the masks we made?" Kyra and Abbi then lit up and said,,"OH yeah, the masks". Alec still just sat there.

Wow. I knew I needed to find something different. So I did more research on homeschooling. I saw the word unschooling and decided to google it. Well,, I found Sandra Dodd's site and joined some discussion lists and I've never looked back. :)

But, back to my change.

So in learning and reading about unschooling, we decided to let them become more active in their learning, in their lives. We wanted to allow them to be them. We let the control go and saw the continual amazingness in our kids, that.. which before only appeared to us in glimpses.

Well, as you're going along seeing what wonderful things this freedom is bringing your kids you can't help but let it eep into your own being. I started questioning my shoulds. (Things I always felt uneasy with but never really did much about, maybe "those" voices *g*) Shoulds being, things in my life that I did that I really didn't want to be doing. Or things that lurked around in my head saying,,"you should do this" or "you shouldn't do that". I started examining those things. I started to allow myself to say no to things,,"no I don't want to go to that church anymore" (yes, the whole church thing) "no, I don't have to have my house/yard/self look a certain way" "no, I don't care what other people think".

I allowed myself to say no to things, which in turn then actually gave me the opportunity to say yes. Yes, I can be with my kids and enjoy them. Yes, we can do what we want and still learn a ton. Yes, I can be a responsible parent and still be my child's friend.

Maybe that's where unschooling has changed me the most, it has turned a life of limits into a life of possibilites. We now make choices that matter to us in a deep important way. We don't do things because we should do things, we now do things because we want to and think there's a good reason for it. We have found out that our desires and wants correspond with good results. Good results for us and good results for people and things around us.


Some glimpses into our "wide sky life". I want to thank Amy Steinberg for that phrase.



At the Grand Canyon
In Toronto, just enjoying the green grass, oh yeah, and bright sun ;)

Etsy Excitement

We created an etsy shop :) Only 1 item on it right now, one of my ponchos, but we got it up and runnin.

Abbi is helping me to create the shop's appearance and is creating little button thingys to put in places. She knows so much more about those things than me. She also thought up the name..Zenitivity.

When we do our creations we really feel like we're in this place of "zen". Hence,,a creative zen thing. *G*

Bikin'

We had a really nice day yesterday. Last week Kyra proclaimed that we had to go on a picnic this weekend, so off we went!

The snow and ice has cleared so we were able to hit the bike paths over at Lake Bemidji State Park. :) Even the lake was clear a few days ago. Much to my surprise Tim and the girls informed me that they saw a couple of sunbathers jumping into the lake! Brrrrrr...

The whole family went biking. It felt so good to get out in that fresh air. I just love the smell of the trees and the lake.

These pictures are still pretty gray, no green leaves yet, but it still felt amazing out there. Big sighs from me as I was going down the paths. In a few weeks, these paths and areas will be a sea of green.

Must..throw..rocks..


The following 2 are of a camping site that I would like to camp at, its so nice. Come on up and visit and we'll go camping! :)



After a while Alec decided he had had enough so he and I headed back home. Tim and the girls went on to bike some more. Alec wanted to share with me some of the bosses that he was discovering in the new Kingdom Hearts he's playing.

Happy Alec

Man, is Alec psyched. He finally got his Kingdom Hearts: Final Mix, after waiting 10 *business* days-- all the way from Hong Kong, ITS HERE!! hee hee

I initially wondered why he would want this game when he's totally annihilated the original Kingdom Hearts and Kingdom Hearts 2 already? Well,,, there's actually 20 new bosses. He's already come across 2 and he says "They are sooo worth it!!!" hehe, he's so happy.

Very cool. The game is Japanese but the characters still talk in English, go figure. But that 's all the English there is. He printed up a bunch of charts with Japanese characters and all sorts of terms to aid him in his playing. We were very excited when we figured out the little download to our computer so we could print Japanese characters. He also had to figure out what type of converter to get in order to play a Japanese game on our PS2. You order one of these:slide card with swap magic, which came pretty quick, and worked just right. :)

Early on he didn't know if he'd want to learn Japanese at all, but as he's been playing he's changing his mind a bit. Tonight he's thinking it might be cool. (I've gotten out all of our Japanese reference books and we're ready!)

***************************************

Another cool thing that happened today was that we started a yoga class again, a family class which we love and Alec came with :) He had never really wanted to go before but he decided to give it try this time. It was so fun to go with all 3 of the kids. What a glorious day~ and Tim comes home tonight too.

On the yoga theme~Namaste~

Happy Birthday Sissy

I could never say Julee when I was little, so my sister was Sissy to me.

My Sissy turned 50 this weekend and we went to celebrate with her. Wow, time flies!
The corsage was a "joke" corsage. She had one made for my mom one time. What comes around, goes around ;)


Uncle Kurt with Abbi

Brenna and Matt

The elusive Marilyn and Tony
Grandpa and Wayne

I caught Natalie sitting down, that doesn't happen much ;)
Happy Tim and Alec
Kyra and Grandpa

We all had a great time.

Crocheting Craziness

We've been crocheting. A LOT

Even our visiting nephews got into it.


I love this yarn but I forget how much work goes into just getting the lengths into balls. Alec helped me unwind and roll and roll and roll. OK, I still love the yarn. I found this in Johnson City TN when we visited Ren. Soo excited. Cutest yarnshop in an old house, called Yarntiques This first bunch is the usual color that I've used.

But now I found another color! ~Neptune~



I also made my first shawl, it was really fun. Its called Hot Shawlcolate :) (I love the name *g*) This is going to a certain soon-to-be 50 year old ;)

Le Printemps est ici?

Spring is here? Perhaps. (French is on my brain. Abbi is wanting to learn it, so we've been parlering the Francais :)

Some signs of spring have popped up in the last 24 hours, Yay!

The ladybugs have decided to move again.


I looked out my back and saw NO snow!


But wait, that's right I do live in Minnesota.


The screen door has actually thawed out. I can move it.

And I heard a wonderful sound this morning, trumpeter swans flying over head.

Even Garrison was talking about spring in Minnesota this weekend.

Its 52 degrees and I saw shorts on our neighbors *g*. It must be spring.

Just gotta share more pics

Rue sent these over, I loved them so much, just had to share. They are from our trip to the Lovejoy's and up to Hershey PA too.







I think we're pretty ding dang happy when we get to see our friends. :D

I received this horoscope today. I think I've said it before, but, I don't know how much I believe them but I like reading them. :)

I especially liked the bottom paragraph. Abbi and I were reading through it and learned a new word-- ebullience. I like that word. What a GREAT word *g*

Defined as:

1.	high spirits; exhilaration; exuberance.

2.	a boiling over; overflow.

or

n. Zestful enthusiasm.

What a great word for our unschooling life. Yeppers.

Here's the horoscope.

Fun In Action
Scorpio Daily Horoscope

A need to play can commandeer your attention today, compelling you to leave serious matters by the wayside in order to concentrate on pursuits you deem fun. Even if your circumstances require that you devote a large portion of your time or energy on mundane duties, you can still find many opportunities to enjoy yourself. Games and sports can provide you with wonderful diversions today, though you may have to gather together family and friends to ensure have plenty of participants. And your everyday chores may even seem more fun than usual today if you approach them with an eye toward competing with yourself.

When a craving for fun strikes, satisfying ourselves will almost always be a matter of proactively finding opportunities to take part in those activities we truly enjoy. We cannot wait for life to provide us with stimulus that tickles our fancies because so much of existence is concerned with serious matters. Our ebullience can be a wonderful guide that will naturally provide us with the tools we need to recognize playful prospects. We may find that we need to create our own fun and that the games or entertainment we devise carry with them an extra component of fulfillment in that they are uniquely ours. Joy thus begets more joy provided we are willing to take steps to nurture it. Your positive mood will find a practical outlet today when you keep your eyes open for opportunities to engage in the pursuits that bring you happiness.

It seems to go pretty well with what's going on in our day. We have my 2 nephews visiting which is always fun. And we have an additional friend coming over today too.

Fun and joy galore. :)

Amazing definition of unschooling by Rue:

"Unschooling is life as a child would live it, unencumbered by society's 'shoulds'; with wonder and spontaneity, curiosity and imagination. It's a conscious decision to live in connection with your children and to live with your eyes wide open."

That covers a lot doesn't it? Jam packed!

Life IS Good

Creativity...

And people worry that computer use will stall out creativity, check this out. (Click PLAY ;)

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/animator

Very reminiscent of some Bugs Bunny cartoons :)

And check this out. Remember The Muppets and Sesame Street with the Mahna Mahna song?

(For all the world of warcraft lovers *g*) Click the "ROFLMAO"

ROFLMAO

My nephew found the first video and Abbi found the WoW one. Pretty fun :)

Those unschooling families are quite amazing

(our bunch in Hershey PA)

Our whirly swirly life

Thanks Mary for Dumpr :)